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Communication breakdowns often occur because people don’t say something or because of the way they say it. Here are some tips for overcoming these communication breakdowns:
– If you sound rushed and distracted when you say something, people may think you are not interested or feel offended, because it seems like they are unimportant to you. Accordingly, if you are rushed, provide the other person with a brief explanation that you are very busy with something now, but do want to talk with later, so either you or they can contact you again.
– Often breakdowns occur because someone has false assumptions about someone or about something they expect someone to do and communicate based on those assumptions. For example, a boss or co-worker assumes you already know something or you will be taking on a particular role or responsibility, when you aren’t. In this case, it is best to confirm in conversation or in a memo or e-mail what you expect someone to do or what you understand they want you to do. Then, if they don’t understand something the same way, they should tell you, so you are both on the same page.
– Another reason for a communication breakdown is that someone doesn’t say something or ask for clarification because they don’t want to appear stupid; they feel shy or uncomfortable asking or explaining something; they want to be diplomatic by not bringing up a subject that might make others uncomfortable. Or perhaps a person doesn’t want to admit he or she wasn’t listening or didn’t understand something, and hopes to figure it out later. The approach to use here is to make the other person feel comfortable and safe to ask questions, even if he or she thinks he or she should know that. Conversely, if you are unsure or unclear about something, ask. If the boss seems hard to approach, try asking a co-worker. Or try feeding back what you do understand and invite the other person to fill in what he or she also wants you to do.
– Communication breakdowns also occur when people don’t allow time for others to ask questions or don’t take time to listen carefully to others themselves. For example, a boss gives everyone instructions on what to do, but not everyone understands. Or an employee doesn’t listen closely when instructions are given. A tip here is to make sure everyone has understood what you have just explained and invite them to ask questions if they don’t understand something. Another approach is to invite someone to provide a brief recap of what they think you said. Conversely, if you are listening to instructions, actively engage your mind so you really listen. For example, imagine yourself doing what you will be doing, as the other person talks. And afterward, be ready to ask for clarification or examples if there is anything you don’t understand.
For more ideas on overcoming conflicts and communication problems, you can see some chapters from Disagreements, Disputes, and All-Out War on my Website.
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Source by Gini Graham Scott
